I Miss Art

I miss how it used to flow into my life at every moment. 

I miss the urge I used to have to draw and to write about the beauty I see everyday in my life. 

I miss seeing the bad things in life, that made me want to write it down and to get it out of my system. Now, instead, it finds its way into me and hides in a dark corner of my being and it won't come out. I miss the structure and chaos of art. How every part of it can be an absolute mess at first glance, then the longer you look at it, you see what lies underneath the mess and disaster, you see true intentions and meanings.

I miss life. 
I miss meeting new people as often as I can and getting to know something about them. 
Falling in love with a complete stranger because they are so different and unique, then hating them because they are the same as so many people you see, and then learning to accept them for who they are. 
I miss repeating the cycle with every new face that passes me by.

I miss excitement.
I miss not having to plan every moment of my day. Being able to just go and do something that sounded fun, and being able to find someone to enjoy it with. Not worry about whether they have other plans or not. I miss being able to go on a random adventure through town. Acting like we've never been there before, then finding something we didn't know was there.


I miss being young.
I miss being innocent to the grown up world and living in my own world that you could only be invited to. Not knowing what my family was talking about when they spoke politics. Not caring what it meant about me. I miss the entertainment I got from watching cartoons and it wasn't weird that I watched them because that's was little kids do. 


But most of all; I miss art.
I miss the influence that art had on my life. I miss wanting to be an artist when I grew up like my grandmother.  I miss waking up early in the morning to see the beauty of the sunrise and listening to the birds sing. I miss wanting to capture the moment so I could look back on it from time to time to cheer myself up. I miss wanting to share art with every one I know.

I miss art.

Written: March 2, 2009